Saturday, February 20, 2010

Like breathing?

A - Author’s
R - Revealed
T - Truth

I am once again at a crossroads: assessing - nay, trying to identify - the barriers I have created, that are currently limiting my ability to produce. I thought of the above acronym, this evening, and I believe that it revealed part of my dilemma. I love art: its experience and its making. However, my love is coupled with FEAR and AWE that sober my joy of unabashed creation. I DO understand the weight of the pieces I make. They are supposed to reflect Him. All that I am is supposed to reflect Him. Afterall, He WAS and IS and Was before ALL that is now. So, the best I can ever do is echo His expression, in my own attempts. And yet, even in that freedom to make something “unoriginal,” I still honor the reality that if my work DOES NOT echo Him, I have become futile. And, I want my life to matter. I do not want to waste my energies on something that might not have worth.

Hence, as is often the case, I have given so much value to my understanding that I am limited within my mind - paused at the crux of creativity. But maybe, not. If I can begin to surrender my understanding of art’s responsibility, within my mind, I may find the ability to move again.

Great Author, Creator of all and giver of art, teach me how to make what You desire and calm my heart and mind when they waste time worrying about release. Show me how to shape, once more...

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