To Be or Not to be...

AVAILABLE: able to be used or obtained; at someone's disposal; free to do something

Does this define my life before The One To Whom I Cling?

We live in a world that is time-bound. And greater injustice is added to this reality, for those of us that live in the fast-paced, money-driven, Western world. We are constantly aware of our time (or lack thereof) and finding new ways to maximize the small amount of time we never seem to have. We strategize our meetings, inviting multiple departments to the same table that we may increase productivity over a shorter span of time. We purchase and invest energy in technology, designed to keep EVERYTHING in one place, in order that we can "do away" with the need for multiple digital outlets. We write texts, instead of emails and choose abbreviations, within those texts, instead of full sentences, so that we can communicate as succinctly as possible. We purchase pre-packed meals so that all items are combined on one plate, with limited preparation...and the list goes on. But the irony remains: we never seem to find enough time.

I have to ask myself the question: if I never seem to find enough time, what am I wasting time doing that prevents me from investing in those things I truly need?

My answer? Not making myself accessible to God. That is the key issue that will unlock having enough time to do other things. I am more aware than ever that my number one problem has been NOT making ENOUGH time for God.

God: our Father, our Friend, and King of the Universe. He is not bound by time, nor does He feel limited by it. Time is something He invented, so it is not a threat to Him. But it does pose a threat to my relationship, with Him, when I try to make Him fit within my time-bound thinking (and my "all-important" schedule). If I truly desire to be known by Him, and to be used by Him, I cannot decide when and how that will happen. (It is enough that He WANTS to use me!) If God chooses to invest Himself IN and THROUGH me, I must begin to live a life, marked by AVAILABILITY. I must stop saying that He can have "x" amount of minutes, in my day, or that He may take liberty to show His power at "such and such" a time, in my life or my church service. Rather, I must treat Him with at least the same respect I treat those with whom I have earthly relationship.

To claim desire for intimacy and companionship with my spouse or family and then avoid their presence or interrupt their conversation - every time they begin sharing their heart with me - would be rude and ridiculous. After a while, they would stop believing my intention to know them. My actions would speak louder than my words.

So, how is it any different, in my relationship with TOTWIC? If I say I want to KNOW HIM, I must stop and listen to Him, as He shares WHO HE IS. If I say I want TO BE USED by Him, I must stop my own agenda and focus on His. If I profess interest in being AVAILABLE, I have to actually BE AVAILABLE. And, since I serve a God NOT BOUND by the time which limits me, I have to learn that I WILL BE INTERRUPTED. I will feel as though my schedule was put "on hold", in order to accomplish His purposes. But, until I am willing to let go of that which is fleeting, I will never fully be able to be used. I am only one of many. There are others that can accomplish His Kingdom Work. But, I don't want to miss it. I don't want to miss an opportunity to be in service for the King of Kings.

So, here I am, Lord. I am ready. Interrupt my life...